Gardasil: Destroyed and Abandoned

By Lidia from Donegal, Ireland

Gardasil: Destroyed by the vaccine; abandoned by the medical profession

Gardasil: Destroyed by the vaccine; abandoned by the medical profession

I am 16 years old. For me, everything started a few days after I received the HPV vaccine, Gardasil. I woke up one day choking and unable to breathe. I felt like I was going to pass out so my parents took me to a hospital. I was stabilized, kept overnight and sent home, just like that. No tests, no medications, no explanations as to what could have caused the problem. This was only the beginning.

First it was just trouble with breathing, nausea, and feeling faint. Every doctor I saw dismissed me with, “Well, you’re breathing now.”

Then it progressed to choking, hyperventilating, panic attacks and soon enough I was getting panic attacks every day, sometimes as many as four times a day.

Then the depression came. This is going to be hard to talk about, as it still triggers a lot of anxiety and depression in me, but I will try my best to tell as much as I can.

Going to psychologists and psychiatrists didn’t help at all. All they ever told me was to “take a relaxing bath,” “light some nice smelling candles” and “go out with friends”. I tried all those things. I tried every single thing they told me to try and yet none of it worked. Still, they didn’t seem to care about that and kept telling me to try the same things again and again.

Many times I’ve been told to “think about all the people that have it worse than me” and many times people laughed after I expressed my thoughts or feelings about a certain topic.

The psychologists were late to every appointment and talked about everything with a passive attitude as if I was exaggerating and making everything up.

One of the doctors at a hospital told my parents the reason all this was happening to me was because I’m “troubled.” She said it even though I was in the room.

Another doctor stood by my hospital bed as I screamed and cried in pain because of back spasms and watched me for about ten minutes before simply walking away. I didn’t receive any help that time, no painkillers, nothing. I just stayed in my bed until the spasms passed.

A few months later Dad and I went to the same doctor for a check-up.  As he flipped casually through my medical file he said “I don’t have any record of pain written down here from that time” and shrugged his shoulders.

Another doctor, a substitute for one of my psychologists, was somehow convinced that my parents were abusing me regardless of the fact that I told him that wasn’t the case every time we met for an appointment.

Every doctor we went to dismissed us and tried to get rid of us.

Overall, I just felt useless, hopeless, and broken. I felt guilty – like all that was happening was my fault somehow. When I didn’t feel like crying my eyes out, I felt completely nothing and sat still, staring off into space.

The amount of times I imagined myself dying is terrifying. I was scared of myself. I was scared that I would lose control and start screaming and breaking everything around me from all the pain, terror and anger. Yes, I was angry – I was really angry! Angry that my feelings were so easily dismissed, as if they were something you can pick up, explore for a little while and toy with a little, before being thrown in the trash.

When it comes to physical symptoms…there were a lot. There still are, they still come back every so often.

There were hallucinations of a girl named Trillion who hit me. There were episodes where my body would switch itself off and I’d be left unable to move, speak, swallow, blink and yet still able to feel and hear everything around me. That could last from ten minutes to eight hours. My legs would become paralyzed, for periods lasting from thirty minutes to four days.

I couldn’t go out at all, unless I wanted to risk an anxiety attack so bad I would have to return home within half an hour of being out of the house. Being around people made me anxious, it still does.

Once I felt so bad, so depressed, and so angry that I cut into my arm with a needle. I regretted doing that instantly. I still get an urge to do it, though it’s faint.

I genuinely had to force myself to want to live. I wanted to disappear. I wanted all of the symptoms to stop.

Now without a doubt, I can say that I am a lot better. I have been taking homeopathy remedies for a few months. They have helped more than all of the anti-depressants I was prescribed for two years.

Perhaps soon I can leave Gardasil and the past behind me. Maybe I can have a normal life after all.

Read this article in Spanish here.


  1. Charity thomas says:

    I cried when reading your story. It is so similar to my daughter’s. I still haven’t been able to finish writing my daughter’s story. This needs to stop!!!!! Our voices need to be heard, it makes me sick to know every one is ignoring us all. I feel like I am in a nightmare unable to wake up, I hear these stories and i can’t help but feel a little comforted knowing that we are not alone. Then the other part of me feels guilty and awful that other children are suffering like my daughter. What is wrong is our country and our doctors???? They are supposed to heal and protect our health not destroy our children’s emotional state of mind. If enough of us come together we can make a statement a movement and the whole world will know the truth behind gardasil. Sweetheart keep your head up you are not alone we are all behind you and your voice will be heard I promise.

  2. Sandy Lunoe says:

    Dear Lidia,
    Please know that by sharing the story of your suffering you are reaching far out and touching the hearts of many others. You are very young, yet you have managed to describe your story so vividly, it is painful to read. And thank you Lidia for helping others by informing about the dangers of the vaccines.

    Please know that you are not alone. You are a symbol for countless precious young girls who are also very ill because of these vaccines. Through the Sanevax team many girls are in contact with each other for comfort, help and support.

    Please know that your friends at Sanevax and colleagues work very hard together with clever researchers to inform girls, parents, health authorities and others about the risks of the vaccines – and to find information about the best possible treatments.

    Please know, dear Lidia, that we are praying for your complete recovery.

    Heartfelt blessings,

  3. Alicia Boone says:

    My dear girl thank you for sharing this story. I am going to share it with my daughter who was severely injured, disabled really, by Gardasil. You can find her story on my facebook page if you would like to read it. You are a courageous girl and I hope you are doing well and able to live somewhat of a normal life <3

  4. Alicia Boone says:
  5. Andrea Herlth says:

    Lidia, your story was raw and painful to read….I can only imagine the pain this has caused within you. I have a Gardasil-injured daughter….Korey, and her story is on Sanevax….I wrote it in February 2015, so it is not up-to-date and where she is at now. She is in a very bad place right now….the depression is very, very intense, and the anxiety is overwhelming. She had a panic attack last week while getting an EEG for petit mal seizures she has been having. We have tried mainstream medicine opting for ivIG treatment…she had weekly infusions (7 hours at a clip) for 24 weeks….this should have helped the many health issues she has after Gardasil, but it did not. I am going to share your story with her. If you can feel like you can share some of the homeopathy that got you well again, especially with respect to depression and anxiety, I would greatly appreciate it. My daughter has tried everything BUT she seems to be medication resistant and also super sensitive to meds and gets all the worse side-effects. She also has the hallucinations you speak of….hers are of ghosts that scream at her and hit and poke her. I will pray for your continued healing….you were very brave to share your story, especially the mental health illnesses that Gardasil has given you…Thank you.

    • Get in touch with either Dr. Joel Wallach or Dr. Peter Glidden on their radio show. They can tell you what to take. They both are amazing. They helped me with my child when no one else could figure things out. Turned out we needed 90 Essential Nutrients in order to let our body heal itself.

      It makes me so upset that our children are being treating like this. We need to come together to tell our stories.

  6. My daughter and I have been insulted, threatened and dismissed by so many clueless and defensive doctors and psychologists. In case it helps you to know it: it’s not just you. It’s systemic. Hang in there and watch for miracles, however small or large.

  7. Crystal butler says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. You are definitely not alone! My daughter has also been injured by gardasil. We have also been treated poorly by many doctors. We have been told she has conversion disorder too many times. Skylee suffers from the same episodes you have where she is unable to move, speak, or swallow but are able to hear what is going on around her. Can you please add me on Facebook or have your mother friend me. Crystal L Butler I am in many of the groups as well. I am glad to hear you are doing better with your treatments.

  8. Hello. I am a homeopathic and Oriental Medicine practitioner of 32 years. I will not only listen to all of your stories, but regard them as absolute reality. After doing an in-depth intake, – we can do on Skype, – I would recommend one or many non-drug substances to try. There are no side-effects to what I do and the worst that can happen is nothing. I have treated perhaps 150 patients for vaccine-related syndromes including neurologically based changes. I was in Neurology research at the University of California Davis and gastroenterology at UCLA as well. I just got back from Harvard Radiological research and plan to engage them in a study, – I have also testified before the US Congress on Early Detection of Cancers in Women. – so Im considered holistic but not a quack. I do science. Vaccines can be helpful but as Robert Kennedy Jr. says, – vaccines are unsafe in the form they are in right now, – and need to be completely redesigned. Feel free to contact me.

    • I’m glad to hear you have been helping people with vaccine injury and that hopefully we can find better alternatives and use the many already available. But we don’t NEED guardasil at all.

  9. Thank you for sharing your story. It is well stated.
    Every time I hear a story such as this, I feel a bit more enlightened as to what must be happening to these autistic children.
    The body is designed to heal. We just need to remove all the blockages, provide the necessary elements and allow it to do so. You can get to a better place.
    How sad we need to seek help from those who initiated the problem. It is very sad for those who haven’t realized there are alternatives.
    Good luck.

  10. You might find Welcome Silence by Carol North, MD, interesting. She describes her battle with mental health issues and other peoples’ attitudes, and the eventual finding of a physical cause for her problems. Since you are already using homeopathic remedies, you could investigate sequential therapy, as described by Dr Jean Elmiger in his book Rediscovering Real Medicine. He talks a lot about vaccinations and the shocks they give to the body. Good luck.

  11. Thank you for sharing your story. I have a 12 yr old daughter, her school is doing the vaccinations, thankfully having read numerous stories like yours she won’t be getting this. I am very grateful to you & others like you who are so brave to share what’s happened to you and you’ve saved one more teenage girl from possibly going through what you have. Thank you x

  12. Casey Coleman says:

    So similar to my story! I was in bed one night and woke up unable to breathe. This occurred for years and years. Doctors thought I was crazy, that it was just asthma, or that it was something as simplistic as heartburn. I was diagnosed with Hashimotos disease a few months ago…. An autoimmune disease that requires a trigger to surface- and very commonly, the trigger is a vaccine. This vaccine has ruined my life. I have panic attacks due to difficulty breathing. I can’t travel or even drive to a store alone for fear of having an episode. I suffer from depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue and nausea, and TREMENDOUS food allergies- when previous to the vaccine I could eat anything with no problem.

  13. Decio martins canedo says:

    Venho aqui contar o que aconteceu com minha filha;
    Kívia Depollo Canêdo – 12 anos
    No dia 11 de maio de 2015 a Kívia tomou a vacina HPV e no dia 13/06 o quadro era este: sepse grave/sara secundária a artrite séptica de articulação coxofemural direita. O quadro extremamente grave, onde os médicos afirmaram que ela corria alto risco de vida. Encontra-se em ventilação mecânica invasiva com sedação/analgesia continua.
    Desde que ouvi a propaganda da vacina HPV, achei um absurdo, incentivo a prostituição, destruição de famílias.Claro não aceitei minha filha tomar a vacina HPV, mas depois da segunda campanha, uma pessoa da unidade de saúde veio em minha porta insistir para levar ela a tomar a vacina e que eu não sabia o quanto a vacina é importante, e acabei levando-a no dia seguinte para tomar a maldita vacina. Para mim, minha filha e minha família foi um grande desastre. Minha filha saudável e forte, que nunca apresentou problemas quase morreu.
    Doze dias depois de tomar a vacina, Kívia começou a ficar indisposta, nervosa, sentindo muito mal estar e febre. Na madrugada do dia 07 de junho ela estava com febre muito alta e a levamos numa Unidade de Pronto Atendimento, mas não detectaram nenhum sinal de infecção.
    No dia 10 de junho, demos entrada com a menina no hospital Vital Brasil em Timóteo com fortes dores na perna direita, febre alta, pressão muito baixa e intestino completamente paralisado. Em 11 de junho o pediatra à examinou, pediu uma bateria de exames e foi realizada uma lavagem intestinal. No mesmo dia um pediatra antigo que estava de plantão teve a capacidade de dizer que era dengue e gravíssimo, balançando a cabeça (quis dizer que não adiantava fazer mais nada).
    No dia 12 de junho as dores eram tão fortes que ela delirava mesmo sendo medicada, foi levada para o bloco cirúrgico e foi localizada a infecção na articulação coxofemural direita. No dia seguinte, ela deu hemorragia saindo sangue pelo nariz e boca e foi constatado que ela desenvolveu infecção generalizada (sepse), os pediatras Geraldo e Dênio, junto com uma equipe médica começaram a socorrê-la. Foram horas dolorosas preparando-a para entubação e transfusão de sangue. Ficou na UTI por 11 dias, sendo que foram 9 dias em coma induzido.
    Ela sobreviveu e como disseram os médicos “Por milagre de Deus, não há outra explicação”!
    Foram 33 dias no hospital. Usou fraldas por mais de 40 dias e está usando cadeira de banho, muletas, remédios, fisioterapia todos os dias, acompanhamento médico… Sem aulas, provas, amigos e em cima de uma cama há meses. Tanto sofrimento, tanta dor que nenhuma menina, nenhuma mãe e nenhuma família merecem passar.
    Agora notamos outra coisa estranha; pêlos nas pernas, grossos e escuros. Ela me disse: “Mãe, estou com vergonha, está parecendo perna de homem”!
    Toda vez que vejo minha filha como está, lembro-me da vacina, sei que são efeitos dela. Porque então ela foi proibida no Japão? Por trazer mais danos que benefícios, por levar até a morte.
    Essa vacina HPV é a maior covardia. Existem muitas vitimas adormecidas, que não conseguiram associar a vacina com a doença que aparece de repente.
    Aqueles que dizem que não tem nada haver com a vacina, que a vacina HPV é muito boa, protege as meninas, são verdadeiros covardes. Estão contribuindo para trazer doenças para a nação e um crime contra as crianças.
    O governo esta tão preocupado com a saúde das meninas, que leva a vacina HPV nas escolas. É muita caridade…
    Foto de Contra Vacina HPV.
    Foto de Contra Vacina HPV.
    79.178 pessoas alcançadas
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  14. I received the guardrail vaccination I would like to say last year. Since then I have had terrible loss of appetite to the point that the thought of eating makes mi sick, even if only haven’t ate that day. And I struggle with depression, even on my best day I find myself crying. I’m just now getting to the point I can eat and actually want the food. NO ONE should get this vaccination.

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