Vaccines found to activate moron genes that cause further belief in vaccines (satire)

Weekend satire special: New research accidentally conducted by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has discovered that vaccines activate the “moron” genes that normally lie dormant in human beings. Once activated, these “moron genes” cause individuals to lose higher brain function and the ability to question false information fed to them by doctors, drug companies and the media. This, in turn, results in even more people pursuing repeated vaccines, further causing expression of the moron genes, over and over again, until their brain function collapses to the level of a raw vegetable… otherwise known as a “voter.”

Because of their disastrous effects on higher brain function, these vaccines are now being called “Moron Vaccines.”

Moron Vaccines contain all the usual ingredients of flu vaccines and MMR vaccines, including methyl mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde and DNA fragments from diseased monkey organs. (This is truly what’s found in other vaccines…)

But Moron Vaccines have one ingredient that’s slightly different. As Dr. All Proffit, a leading vaccine patent holder, explained, “Moron Vaccines are much like regular vaccines, except instead of taking diseased material from infected cows and monkeys, we take brain cell samples from existing morons which are easy to find among our colleagues. We then weaken those brain cells to make them even more moronic, and then we inject them into infants and children, mixed with a bit of mercury to make sure it targets the neurological system for maximum effectiveness.”

The result? As Bill Gates explains, “Billions of children each year are being saved from IBFD.” IBFD is short for Intelligent Brain Function Disorder. It is an affliction affecting hundreds of millions of people each year, causing them to achieve dangerously high levels of cognitive function that causes them to ask inappropriate questions about vaccines such as, “Why have vaccines never been tested against non-vaccinated children?” Or, “Why do vaccines cause some children and teens to collapse into autism, comas or death?” Or, “Why don’t flu vaccines actually prevent flu symptoms in 99 out of 100 people who receive them?”